Quotes from the Office

Just for fun. :)

Dramatis Personae

Christy (Hopefully you know who I am)
Laura (she and I are working on the same project)
Courtney (Productions worker, who usually sits in the back cubicle)
Charity (my sister, who is our conferences coordinator)
Nate (my brother, who is also the office manager)

“If you cross-breed a frog and a goldfish, you might get a really cool fantasy creature, but it won’t function like either of them!” – Christy, trying to express her point metaphorically while having a business meeting with Laura about quizzes and study guides.

“Oh, you mean, ‘make a chart’?” – Christy, teasing Laura.
“No, I do not mean ‘make a chart!’ I mean ‘tell me in ordinary narrative English, which people speak every day!’ You can’t speak a chart. We went through this the other day; a chart throws a block of information at you.” – Laura, who isn’t overfond of charts.

“There. Now I feel…calmer.” Christy, setting up The School of Athens as her desktop background.
“Ah, yes. It’s much better than that pink monstrosity.” – Laura, referring to Christy’s former desktop background, which was a pink lily floating in black water.
“Hey!” - Christy
“Um… that ‘pink flamboyance’?” - Laura

“It’s funny. Most of the death dates are certain, but a lot of the birth dates aren’t. When they were born, nobody knew that they were going to be important.” – Laura, doing people glossaries
“There’s a lesson for life in there somewhere.” ::pause:: “I don’t want to know where.” - Christy

“I love my truck! All you other people with your little binky cars… I feel for you.” – Nate

“I have the weirdest work environment on earth.” – Christy, watching Nate shoot the dart gun revolver at the front window. This is his favorite stress-reliever.
“Oh, the sadness.” – Nate, over his shoulder
“What sadness?” - Christy
“One of the darts isn’t sticking very well.” – Nate, plucking at a rubber dart on the window.

“Okay, I’m just gonna move the folder. This is what being a history major is all about!” – Nate, the Hillsdale graduate

“I think I’ll turn on some nice loud country music.” – Christy, grinning at Courtney
“How ‘bout we not.” – Courtney, grinning back
“What’s going on?” – Charity
“Nothing. Christy is just torturing the production workers.” – Laura

“Huh?” - Christy
“I’ve been depressed recently because my shoes were dirty on the toes. So I just cleaned them. That’s why I said, ‘Yes! Clean shoes!’” – Charity
“Oh.” – Christy

“Um, Christy, I think you’re being threatened.” – Laura to Christy, noticing that Nate is standing behind the latter with his dart gun about three inches from her head.
“I’m a Somerville. I won’t cower in front of a dart gun!” – Christy, straightening up.
::Nate fires a dart, which blows past Christy’s ear. Christy flinches::
“No, you’ll just flinch.” – Nate
“Flinching is okay.” – Christy

“How cool is that! My senior pastor’s wife from Virginia just called up to order Tapestry!” – Christy, putting down the phone.

“Do you care what kind of music?” – Christy to Courtney, fulfilling her duties as DJ
“Um… something upbeat. But if I hear harmonicas and banjoes, I’m coming out there.” – Courtney

“I can’t believe that I voluntarily turned on Superchicks.” – Christy
“Why, are you a Supersnob?” – Nate

“Yes! My favorite joke song!” – Christy, playing “My Heart Will Go On,” as sung by the Vienna Boys Choir. There’s just something hilarious about a boy tenor belting out the theme love song from Titanic…