M'Adoo and Marriage Proposals
That's the way we pronounce it here at home: familiarity has worn Much Ado About Nothing down to a Velveteen Rabbit M'Adoo. Tonight, my caregroup is going to see a free performance of this delightful Shakespearian comedy in Old Town Gaithersburg, where they have a wonderful wooden stage and seating on the lawn. This means that we get to loll about in reclining Roman splendor, eat our picnic dinners, and enjoy a (hopefully) excellent performance. I enjoyed their Taming of the Shrew a few years ago, and have no reason to expect less of this production.
Of course, Courtney and I are trying not to get our hopes up. I'm a M'Adoo snob because I had it memorized before I got to college, and then wound up on crew for the play last fall, not to mention coaching and bench readings, so I think I can say that I'm done about all the amateur analysis that I can on this particular play.
Now it's time to get appropriate texts and practice academic vivesection. :)
But not tonight. Courtney and I promised each other that we would "be good" and enjoy ourselves. I love Courtney--she's one of the people here at home who would be completely comfortable in the PHC intellectual atmosphere, though she's far from being your average homeschooler. Courtney is a classic tomboy, only grown up, sophisticated, and in nursing school. She and Jessica have been friends forever, since diapers, so I'm enjoying the opportunity to develop a relationship with her as well.
Speaking of Jessica, Mike's party was an enjoyable--if slightly bizarre--affair. Enjoyable because it was me and my three brothers and Jessica and Sarah (Jessica's sister, a fun person), bizarre because Davy had to tell Sean that he--Sean--wasn't allowed to marry me, before we'd been in the car for ten minutes. Also, Brandon suggested that he and I and Davy and Sarah form pseudo-courtships for the sake of seeing if we could weird out the entire Singles Ministry of CLC. Sean and Brandon then spent the rest of the evening on more or less this theme, inquiring of me every so often which of them I would prefer to marry.
Now, caveats: I've been in school with Sean since I was 13 and he was 11. He's been Davy's roommate at college for two years. I've been in school with Brandon since I was 14, and our families have been friends since I was 10. So, you must understand, they both feel perfectly comfortable teasing me like this. I'm their adopted big sister. And I feel comfortable with their teasing, because A) I know they don't mean it, and B) I know that it isn't my fault (as in, I've done nothing to provoke such behavior), and C) it's nice to know that they feel comfortable with me.
But still, it's a long, long way from PHC. I don't mind the teasing; but I'm surprised by it, and surprised to realize: "Wow, the kids are growing up!"
I've gotten soft at PHC, where the vast majority of guys are scared of one, and will either oppose one vigorously on the most ridiculous subjects--ready to die on every hill--or else give one the bone china treatment. There are exceptions, and to them I say, "Bless you!" Nor do I mean to be unkind, nor am I asking for random marriage proposals, because that is immature behavior also and should be gently squashed. Marriage isn't a joke.
Nevertheless, I found the "culture shock" made me think. What do the attitudes of Sean and Brandon reflect? Well, frankly, they reflect a church culture that is actively preparing its young men for marriage. Mike has been a mentor to both of these guys; I'm sure his courtship has caused them to examine their own "5-year plans," as my brothers call them. Now, my brothers are exceptional in that Dad has been preparing them for marriage since their early teens in every respect: financial, physical, emotional, spiritual, mental, you name it. But CLC teaching definitely has something to do with the mindset of "preparing for marriage," and I find it interesting to be an observer.
"I'm pleased with it, overall." Mike said, commenting on the guys' attitude.
"Yes," I responded, thinking of Davy. "It seems to have a galvanizing effect on their motivation to be financially, spiritually stable and ready for marriage."
"Yup."
I thought of PHC, of course, since PHC has become my primary sphere of living over the past three years. Would I want the guys at school to be this focused on prepping for marriage?
No, not necessarily. They tend to be more focused on their education, and since they've got to get that first, it's good to be so.
But I can't get away from this corellary fact...
The guys here at home are awfully mature, and they sure do know how to treat girls. I don't refer to last night's antics; they were just being silly, and, as I have said, I think it was a little immature. But if you put Sean or Brandon into a situation that involved leading by serving, or talking about God, or witnessing, or drawing others out, or giving good Biblical advice...
Well, stand back. They would wow you. They've impressed me all their lives, especially these last few years.
And you know I don't impress easy.
Bottom line? I dunno. I'm still cogitating. But I see something here at home that I like very much, and if I write about it for no other reason, let me just say I'm grateful to God for it.
And no, this isn't meant to cast PHC guys in a bad light. :-P
Of course, Courtney and I are trying not to get our hopes up. I'm a M'Adoo snob because I had it memorized before I got to college, and then wound up on crew for the play last fall, not to mention coaching and bench readings, so I think I can say that I'm done about all the amateur analysis that I can on this particular play.
Now it's time to get appropriate texts and practice academic vivesection. :)
But not tonight. Courtney and I promised each other that we would "be good" and enjoy ourselves. I love Courtney--she's one of the people here at home who would be completely comfortable in the PHC intellectual atmosphere, though she's far from being your average homeschooler. Courtney is a classic tomboy, only grown up, sophisticated, and in nursing school. She and Jessica have been friends forever, since diapers, so I'm enjoying the opportunity to develop a relationship with her as well.
Speaking of Jessica, Mike's party was an enjoyable--if slightly bizarre--affair. Enjoyable because it was me and my three brothers and Jessica and Sarah (Jessica's sister, a fun person), bizarre because Davy had to tell Sean that he--Sean--wasn't allowed to marry me, before we'd been in the car for ten minutes. Also, Brandon suggested that he and I and Davy and Sarah form pseudo-courtships for the sake of seeing if we could weird out the entire Singles Ministry of CLC. Sean and Brandon then spent the rest of the evening on more or less this theme, inquiring of me every so often which of them I would prefer to marry.
Now, caveats: I've been in school with Sean since I was 13 and he was 11. He's been Davy's roommate at college for two years. I've been in school with Brandon since I was 14, and our families have been friends since I was 10. So, you must understand, they both feel perfectly comfortable teasing me like this. I'm their adopted big sister. And I feel comfortable with their teasing, because A) I know they don't mean it, and B) I know that it isn't my fault (as in, I've done nothing to provoke such behavior), and C) it's nice to know that they feel comfortable with me.
But still, it's a long, long way from PHC. I don't mind the teasing; but I'm surprised by it, and surprised to realize: "Wow, the kids are growing up!"
I've gotten soft at PHC, where the vast majority of guys are scared of one, and will either oppose one vigorously on the most ridiculous subjects--ready to die on every hill--or else give one the bone china treatment. There are exceptions, and to them I say, "Bless you!" Nor do I mean to be unkind, nor am I asking for random marriage proposals, because that is immature behavior also and should be gently squashed. Marriage isn't a joke.
Nevertheless, I found the "culture shock" made me think. What do the attitudes of Sean and Brandon reflect? Well, frankly, they reflect a church culture that is actively preparing its young men for marriage. Mike has been a mentor to both of these guys; I'm sure his courtship has caused them to examine their own "5-year plans," as my brothers call them. Now, my brothers are exceptional in that Dad has been preparing them for marriage since their early teens in every respect: financial, physical, emotional, spiritual, mental, you name it. But CLC teaching definitely has something to do with the mindset of "preparing for marriage," and I find it interesting to be an observer.
"I'm pleased with it, overall." Mike said, commenting on the guys' attitude.
"Yes," I responded, thinking of Davy. "It seems to have a galvanizing effect on their motivation to be financially, spiritually stable and ready for marriage."
"Yup."
I thought of PHC, of course, since PHC has become my primary sphere of living over the past three years. Would I want the guys at school to be this focused on prepping for marriage?
No, not necessarily. They tend to be more focused on their education, and since they've got to get that first, it's good to be so.
But I can't get away from this corellary fact...
The guys here at home are awfully mature, and they sure do know how to treat girls. I don't refer to last night's antics; they were just being silly, and, as I have said, I think it was a little immature. But if you put Sean or Brandon into a situation that involved leading by serving, or talking about God, or witnessing, or drawing others out, or giving good Biblical advice...
Well, stand back. They would wow you. They've impressed me all their lives, especially these last few years.
And you know I don't impress easy.
Bottom line? I dunno. I'm still cogitating. But I see something here at home that I like very much, and if I write about it for no other reason, let me just say I'm grateful to God for it.
And no, this isn't meant to cast PHC guys in a bad light. :-P
posted by Praelucor at 5:05 PM
2 Comments:
Interesting perspective.
I have been in situations where a guy won't touch a girl with a ten foot pole, where if a guy and girl do happen to sit across from each other and actually fall into conversation, people either assume they are courting ("when is the wedding?") or scold them for flirting -- basically, where either barbed wire or matrimony exists between the sexes and there is no room for any friendships, for anything in between. Having been in this kind of situation, and heard about it from friends, I find the guy/girl dynamic at PHC very freeing. When I describe it to some of my non-PHC friends, they sometimes become envious or even incredulous.
Should guys, or even girls, be focused specifically on preparing for marriage? Or preparing for a career? I think focusing on either can lead to imbalance -- premature romance on one hand, or on the other achievement without relationships. If we focus instead on becoming the men and women that God wants us to be, developing all aspects of our lives to serve Him better, enjoying communion with Him and with His people... I know these are rather abstract goals, but I think if they are our focus, the rest will fall into place.
Jonathan, it is absolutely true that you should have some idea of the next step. You don't need to have it all planned out, however. In my experience, God tends to let me know about things only one step ahead, just when I need to know. As for following a guy, sure, by the time I'm married to him he should be able to support me. Still, I wouldn't mind helping the right guy figure out what God wants from him. :)
As for you Jonathan - what do I know? - but you strike me as more of a spiritual leader and writer. Ben can sit off in his corner and write the next LOTR, but you seem more of a theology person. Again, what do I know?...
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