A Triple Whammie
I spent some serious time confronting sin this morning. And I'm so glad I did.
9:15 AM -- I arrive at my computer terminal, only to discover that the eight-page paper which I had slaved over (only a small exaggeration), which is worth at least three-quarters of my grade for Medieval Lit, and which I had triumphantly finished on Friday, and thought that I turned in to my professor, was.... gone. Absolutely gone. All my professor received was a four-page outline and early draft.
Don't ask me how. I know I saved it. The document is simply missing, and none of us could get it back. I sat at my computer, experiencing an emotion at once hot and icy. It was compounded of anger, shock, and wretchedness. I'm supposed to be leaving for North Carolina on Wednesday. Time to reconstitute the paper is mighty scanty. And the immediate question is "God, why?"
That's a stupid question to ask a sovereign God, as Job can tell you. I called Mom and asked for prayer. Then I IMed Dad and asked for prayer. Both were sympathetic, encouraging, and reminded me of the truth. "I'm having a Job moment, Daddy," I typed. "Guess I'd better go read Job 38-40." "Attagirl," Dad said. I was intensely aware that this was one of those proving moments, where the rubber meets the road and the heart is revealed.
"One thing that was nice about it," I said later, to Mom, "was that it was so obviously a trial. Somehow I can deal with it easier when I know that."
Ten minutes after the discovery of my missing term paper, I opened my email and found a letter informing me that a legal procedure which I had hoped to skip was going to have to happen after all. And, since I'll be traveling for the next four weeks, I won't be able to get it over with until July. Think of a dentist appointment squared.
Half an hour later, I learned that my dear friend and roommate won't be able to arrive at my home tonight in time to watch a movie with the High Queen and Lisa and I. Not a huge problem, but another disappointment in a day already filled to overflowing. Triple whammie.
I've never been so grateful for a triple whammie. God met me powerfully, and all day I have experienced that sort of grace which can only be described by the phrase "beyond understanding." I've been feeling distant from God lately, uninterested in glorifying Him and pathetically self-centered. All that was swept away in a moment; suddenly I became aware of my need, and was humbled to the dust. God's intention, no doubt. I had just this morning confessed pride in my writing, pride in my abilities, an idol of control, and a lack of awareness of the cross. I asked God for humility and awareness. I received both, through these trials, in spades. Moreover, through grace I was able to set an example of cheerfulness under adversity, and my spirits rallied quickly to meet the challenge of rewriting a paper essentially from scratch, finding a date for the legal meeting, and rearranging the movie date. I was ever so aware that this strength and courage came from outside. It seemed to me that I could see the prayers of my parents, coworkers, and roommate, all pleading for my good. And God delights to do me good.
Net result: two weeks of selfishness and distance from God, with the inevitable side effects of increased outward sin and miserable self-loathing, evaporated in two hours.
I'll take a triple whammie any day!
9:15 AM -- I arrive at my computer terminal, only to discover that the eight-page paper which I had slaved over (only a small exaggeration), which is worth at least three-quarters of my grade for Medieval Lit, and which I had triumphantly finished on Friday, and thought that I turned in to my professor, was.... gone. Absolutely gone. All my professor received was a four-page outline and early draft.
Don't ask me how. I know I saved it. The document is simply missing, and none of us could get it back. I sat at my computer, experiencing an emotion at once hot and icy. It was compounded of anger, shock, and wretchedness. I'm supposed to be leaving for North Carolina on Wednesday. Time to reconstitute the paper is mighty scanty. And the immediate question is "God, why?"
That's a stupid question to ask a sovereign God, as Job can tell you. I called Mom and asked for prayer. Then I IMed Dad and asked for prayer. Both were sympathetic, encouraging, and reminded me of the truth. "I'm having a Job moment, Daddy," I typed. "Guess I'd better go read Job 38-40." "Attagirl," Dad said. I was intensely aware that this was one of those proving moments, where the rubber meets the road and the heart is revealed.
"One thing that was nice about it," I said later, to Mom, "was that it was so obviously a trial. Somehow I can deal with it easier when I know that."
Ten minutes after the discovery of my missing term paper, I opened my email and found a letter informing me that a legal procedure which I had hoped to skip was going to have to happen after all. And, since I'll be traveling for the next four weeks, I won't be able to get it over with until July. Think of a dentist appointment squared.
Half an hour later, I learned that my dear friend and roommate won't be able to arrive at my home tonight in time to watch a movie with the High Queen and Lisa and I. Not a huge problem, but another disappointment in a day already filled to overflowing. Triple whammie.
I've never been so grateful for a triple whammie. God met me powerfully, and all day I have experienced that sort of grace which can only be described by the phrase "beyond understanding." I've been feeling distant from God lately, uninterested in glorifying Him and pathetically self-centered. All that was swept away in a moment; suddenly I became aware of my need, and was humbled to the dust. God's intention, no doubt. I had just this morning confessed pride in my writing, pride in my abilities, an idol of control, and a lack of awareness of the cross. I asked God for humility and awareness. I received both, through these trials, in spades. Moreover, through grace I was able to set an example of cheerfulness under adversity, and my spirits rallied quickly to meet the challenge of rewriting a paper essentially from scratch, finding a date for the legal meeting, and rearranging the movie date. I was ever so aware that this strength and courage came from outside. It seemed to me that I could see the prayers of my parents, coworkers, and roommate, all pleading for my good. And God delights to do me good.
Net result: two weeks of selfishness and distance from God, with the inevitable side effects of increased outward sin and miserable self-loathing, evaporated in two hours.
I'll take a triple whammie any day!
posted by Praelucor at 4:46 PM
1 Comments:
Oh, dearest, I am so sorry about your paper ... ouch :(. That has to hurt. I think every writer cringes at the thought of a paper destroyed.
I am praying for you as you rewrite it ... and praise God for the evidences of grace in your life as you respond to a difficult day with wisdom and grace.
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