Salve, Luna Illuminata, Et Spiritu Illuminate
The moon is full tonight, with that pure luster which always moves me to worship. Driving home from caregroup tonight, I could hardly take my eyes from it. Hail, illuminated moon! Even so I hail the Spirit who illuminates my soul with radiance. Over these summer months God has drawn me to himself as the moon draws waves up on a shore, and floods their long ripples with a gentle beauty.
Somehow, I realized this evening, I have ceased to be afraid of three things that plagued me all through my childhood and adolescence. I did not lose the fear of them tonight, but gradually I have lost them, and tonight I knew it. These three, then, I renounce:
I renounce the fear of death, which so terrified me as a girl, and has lingered through all the years until this one. I found tonight that I am not afraid to die, and have not been for some time.
Having lost my fear of death, I renounce my fear of the night. When death has no terror, what evil can night hold? No more starting at shadows, no more trembling on a night walk--the night is dark but beautiful, and I have learned somehow, sometime, to love it.
I renounce the fear of people, of all my fears most prevalent, and most painful in its consequences. I no longer assume, I find, that people will dislike me or be unkind to me, or find it impossible to love me. I no longer find it impossible to like them. I find within myself no more shrinking from human contact, but rather a desire to touch with the fingertips of my mind and heart all those minds and hearts that God has made for me to serve, to love.
Hail, illuminating Spirit! Holy One, draw me higher up and further in. This I pray, sitting beneath the lovely moon.
Somehow, I realized this evening, I have ceased to be afraid of three things that plagued me all through my childhood and adolescence. I did not lose the fear of them tonight, but gradually I have lost them, and tonight I knew it. These three, then, I renounce:
I renounce the fear of death, which so terrified me as a girl, and has lingered through all the years until this one. I found tonight that I am not afraid to die, and have not been for some time.
Having lost my fear of death, I renounce my fear of the night. When death has no terror, what evil can night hold? No more starting at shadows, no more trembling on a night walk--the night is dark but beautiful, and I have learned somehow, sometime, to love it.
I renounce the fear of people, of all my fears most prevalent, and most painful in its consequences. I no longer assume, I find, that people will dislike me or be unkind to me, or find it impossible to love me. I no longer find it impossible to like them. I find within myself no more shrinking from human contact, but rather a desire to touch with the fingertips of my mind and heart all those minds and hearts that God has made for me to serve, to love.
Hail, illuminating Spirit! Holy One, draw me higher up and further in. This I pray, sitting beneath the lovely moon.
posted by Praelucor at 9:57 PM
2 Comments:
Beautiful.
I can't wait to see you again.
Pray for me, as I'm struggling with fear today ... the fear that usually accompanies the beginning of a new chapter of life, but shouldn't. There is no reason to fear the unknown, to fear uncertainty, when we have so many known and certain promises of God.
I will pray for you while I pray the same thing for me, Lisa. :)
Christy, I am so glad to see this post. May it continue to be so. :)
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