Wellsir, Black!
Wellsir, she did it. One morning about ten days ago I come down to find Mama bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, measuring round the kitchen and the office/den.
"What's up?" I asked, cautious-like. I knew that particular gleam in her eye.
"Daddy and I," she says, sort of shimmering in excitement, "think that we can set up three fishtanks and punch some holes in the walls for tubes and have it all on one system!"
"Aha," I said.
Wellsir, ten days later they are on their way. They tore out all the cabinets and counters in the office/den, and painted it black. I mean pitch-black. Not navy, not gray, and definitely not mauve. Black. Black like the inside of a cow at 12:00 AM on the longest night of the year. There isn't another dark-colored room in the house, but they painted that little ten-by-ten room off the foyer black. B-L-A-C-K.
Three-quarters of the household just sort of sat stunned---all agog, you know---when she told them what color she was going to paint. But they didn't have long to be stunned. Dad said "go ahead" and twenty-four hours later it was done. My Mama can paint a blue streak (and lots of other colored streaks, too). I've known her to redo three or four rooms in a single weekend.
I had hurt my ankle (took a wrong step on the one that I sprained a year and a half ago, so I spent a few days treating it gingerly) and couldn't really paint. I lay on the floor instead and watched the black creeping up the walls around me. It was like being swallowed by a giant spider. I think I made more jokes about funeral homes that night than in the five years previous.
Wellsir, once Mama had it good and black, she bought a sharp new rug of black, pale green, and browns. Then she got black strip-shelving with mahogany shelves and brought in mahogany furniture. The trim she left white. The new fish take (80 gallons) is on an all-black stand, and the 30-gallon hexagonal is mahogany, so she got it figured pretty well.
They set up the family TV on the shelves and surrounded it with the family VHS and DVD collection. Mama's been wanting a place for all that media awful bad. The other wall is lined with the fishtanks. They figure the tanks will have settled down and filtered through and cleaned out enough for fish by Christmas (salt water tanks are awful tricky business, but they've had 'em before and been crazy about 'em ever since that Hawaii trip twelve or fifteen years ago, so they know what they're doing).
There's a futon couch comin' in from World Market, too... only that's later. Backordered. Meanwhile there's talk of running a world of tubes to the basement for filtration and refugium and half a dozen other technical terms---looks like the laundry room is a goner, if not the mudroom too.
The black room (the parents want to name it "the Grotto" 'cause that's a sort of underwater cavern) has become the most popular place in the house since Mama painted it. She sure does know how to decorate. No one ever used to darken its door, but now its dark inside they can't hardly stop comin'. And just like she said, the new fishtank sorta blends into the walls, and the water and lights and TV screen pop out, and it's gorgeous.
Wellsir, wouldn't you know that she'd do something brilliant? She always does.
"What's up?" I asked, cautious-like. I knew that particular gleam in her eye.
"Daddy and I," she says, sort of shimmering in excitement, "think that we can set up three fishtanks and punch some holes in the walls for tubes and have it all on one system!"
"Aha," I said.
Wellsir, ten days later they are on their way. They tore out all the cabinets and counters in the office/den, and painted it black. I mean pitch-black. Not navy, not gray, and definitely not mauve. Black. Black like the inside of a cow at 12:00 AM on the longest night of the year. There isn't another dark-colored room in the house, but they painted that little ten-by-ten room off the foyer black. B-L-A-C-K.
Three-quarters of the household just sort of sat stunned---all agog, you know---when she told them what color she was going to paint. But they didn't have long to be stunned. Dad said "go ahead" and twenty-four hours later it was done. My Mama can paint a blue streak (and lots of other colored streaks, too). I've known her to redo three or four rooms in a single weekend.
I had hurt my ankle (took a wrong step on the one that I sprained a year and a half ago, so I spent a few days treating it gingerly) and couldn't really paint. I lay on the floor instead and watched the black creeping up the walls around me. It was like being swallowed by a giant spider. I think I made more jokes about funeral homes that night than in the five years previous.
Wellsir, once Mama had it good and black, she bought a sharp new rug of black, pale green, and browns. Then she got black strip-shelving with mahogany shelves and brought in mahogany furniture. The trim she left white. The new fish take (80 gallons) is on an all-black stand, and the 30-gallon hexagonal is mahogany, so she got it figured pretty well.
They set up the family TV on the shelves and surrounded it with the family VHS and DVD collection. Mama's been wanting a place for all that media awful bad. The other wall is lined with the fishtanks. They figure the tanks will have settled down and filtered through and cleaned out enough for fish by Christmas (salt water tanks are awful tricky business, but they've had 'em before and been crazy about 'em ever since that Hawaii trip twelve or fifteen years ago, so they know what they're doing).
There's a futon couch comin' in from World Market, too... only that's later. Backordered. Meanwhile there's talk of running a world of tubes to the basement for filtration and refugium and half a dozen other technical terms---looks like the laundry room is a goner, if not the mudroom too.
The black room (the parents want to name it "the Grotto" 'cause that's a sort of underwater cavern) has become the most popular place in the house since Mama painted it. She sure does know how to decorate. No one ever used to darken its door, but now its dark inside they can't hardly stop comin'. And just like she said, the new fishtank sorta blends into the walls, and the water and lights and TV screen pop out, and it's gorgeous.
Wellsir, wouldn't you know that she'd do something brilliant? She always does.
posted by Praelucor at 6:39 PM
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