The Office: Season 7 -- "Driven to Chocolate"

“She was driven to chocolate” – David, in the same tone in which one might say “She was driven to drink.”

“You told me to IM you back! And I am a peach.” – Amy to David

“I am totally crying…” – Amy, who has been laughing too hard.

“Brittainy, when you get to the section on morality…” – Christy
“Skip it!” – interjection by David

“I feel, and I think you will agree with me, that spawning conversations are the best.” – David

“I think your work with lapbooks has affected your judgment.” – Christy to David
“Actually, I feel that I benefited from that time.” ::pause:: “Like Purgatory.” – David

“I feel needed… I feel special….” – Nate
“Good!” – David
“….I feel used.” – Nate

“David, I just ruined what you did. Aren’t you proud of me?” – Mom

“Mother. What can I bring you to fill your stomach and your heart with joy?” – David
::the office laughs::
“What?! There’s nothing wrong with that sentence! I like it.” – Mom

“Muzzle not the aspidistra!” – Mom

"One crisis at a time: my simple plan for world domination" - Dad