The Office: Season 7 --- "So Cease Blathering"

“God is outside of time and I like to live that way. I’ve prayed for the Civil War before.” – David
“…. So that it would turn out differently?” – Christy
“No, so that it would turn out the same way. It was a very faith-filled prayer.” – David

“It’s like beating off a herd of hungry beavers with a stick. They just keep eating the stick!” – David on trying to keep his coworkers from stealing music devices

“Yeah, no wonder. I’d have a French revolution too if I were French and living in that time.” ­ ‑ Peter

“You both said funny things at the same moment, so I think they kinda cancelled each other out.” – David
“Actually, what I said wasn’t that funny” – Sam
“Well then, your blathering cancelled out Ben’s witty comment. So cease blathering.” – David

“So what did you say to him? ‘Good job’?” – Christy
“I wasn’t going to congratulate him for that. I was peeved. ‘Badly done, Emma.’” – David on Sam’s blathering.
“I kinda meant, did you say ‘Good job’ in a sarcastic way.” – Christy
“No, I did not congratulate him even in a facetious manner, because I felt that it was a reprehensible act.” – David

“Sam, you have crass American consumerist tastes, and I’m ashamed to know you.” – David

“My parents are actually lizardologists.” – Marjorie

"I will now go find a wet noodle and commence my penance." - Peter