The Office --- Season 8: "It's a Brutal Science"

“What’s the matter with you?” – Christy to Dad
“He’s high on democracy.” – David

“Mom, do you think that if I had twenty more years and another degree, I could be a clone of you?” – Christy
“Only if you have a life in the middle.” – Mom

“I refuse to be responsible for de-life-ing you!” – Mom to Christy (Mom thinks she has deprived Christy of a life by letting her work for Lampstand)

"I would respond but I'm too busy superciliously sneering at you and casting you aside like an old glove" – David to Christy

"Make Pluto a planet! Donate dirt to be shipped to Pluto!" – Dad

“You know, if this is important I’m willing to commit 500 generations to it [moving dirt to Pluto to make it a planet].” – David
“I’m glad you’re willing.” – Amy
“All I have to do is become Emperor of the World.” – David

“Why don’t we just go live on those nice, civilized, well-behaved moons?” – Dad

“If you go by size, Ganymede is a planet but it isn’t. If you say it depends on orbiting the Sun, well there are practically any number of bodies that do that…” – Dad
“Planetology is sad and unfair.” – Christy
“That’s so true. It’s a brutal science.” – David

“Well, the problem with Pluto started when they realized that there are three or four other bodies the same size floating around out there.” – Dad
“There are enough river gods and nymphs in mythology. Let’s name the extra planets and bring ‘em in! What bugs me here is that you’re losing a major god [Pluto]. I don’t mind if you add gods, but you can’t take one away!” – Christy

“Wait… so basically Pluto isn’t a planet because Jupiter got mad?” – David
“Yep.” – Dad
“That’s actually very much like Greek mythology.” – David

“Pluto is---“ – Dad
“---A cartoon dog” – Amy

“So all you got to do is put a bubble dome over it and … “ – Dad, explaining his post-Obama plan for colonizing the Moon
“You do realize that Dad found a crater on the Moon named after our family, right?” – Christy to David
“Yeah, I know.” – David

“You don’t like Louis Armstrong?” – Amy to Christy
“I like the melodies and the lyrics he sings, but I don’t like his voice. The guy sounds like he’s being strangled.” – Christy

“Okay, we’re done now,” – David, having finished playing What a Wonderful World
“Thank goodness.” – Christy
“How about Somewhere Over the Rainbow?” – Brittainy, wickedly
“Ohhh---good idea!” – David
“You said you were done!” – Christy
“I was, but then I started again.” – David
“You said you were done!” – Christy
“We’ve sort of covered this ground.” – David

“The point of it was, did you hear him scream like a girl? That was awesome!” – Amy
“Yes, that’s the point.” – David

"Isn't it lovely that we all get to be snuffly together?" – David on the office cold that’s going around
“Yes, and make rummy sniffing noises.” – Mom, referencing Jeeves and Wooster