The Office: Season 8: "Because Fairy Tales Are Basically Baby Myths"

“So Casey was your Yoda.” – Christy to Amy
“Yes, but Casey was a great deal better looking than Yoda.” – Amy
“Of all the people who are better-looking than Yoda, I think Casey would be at the top of the list.” – David

“When you plugged Christy’s mouse into Amy’s computer, it reset the clock on the computer to 1601 AD. That’s why it hasn’t been working.” – Dad
“Christy’s mouse would do that. It’s scarily appropriate.” – David
“Yep, back when Shakespeare was writing…” – Dad
“What can I say? I don’t belong in this century.” – Christy

“You must come to work with a checklist of things to accomplish!” – David to Lauren
Lauren’s Checklist, By David:
1. Put a little Christmas spirit into Marcia's drink (Marcia doesn’t like Christmas)
2. Help Amy want kids
3. Make sure that John whisks Brittainy off forever
4. Get a quote in Christy's quote book
5. Get David to say something to me that is not sarcastic...

“I feel like Mom is a sultan or an angel or something, because every time I go to see her I have to take off my shoes.” – David
“Why?” – Lauren
“Because she’s sitting on the Death Rug, so you can’t have any shoes on it.” – David

“No, I refuse to photoshop ancient paintings!—except for humorous purposes.” – David

“Recording in the closet… happy thought indeed.” – Mom, misquoting Elizabeth Bennett

“The thing about fairy tales is that they’re like baby myths…” – David

“So The Secret Garden and A Little Princess were written by the same person. I never knew that!” – Christy
“And David was the only one of us who did!” – Brittainy
“And I’m a boy! Tee-hee!” – David

“Comrade David, explain to me why people are so foolish!” – Christy
“Well, see, first there was this pomegranate” – David
“Pomegranate?” – Brittainy
“You’re on the wrong story.” – Christy to David
“Huh?” – David
“You know… Persephone… gets carried off Pluto… eats three pomegranate seeds and has to stay in Hades for three months of the year? Wrong story.”
“Um, well, okay, so first there was this quetzalcoatus” – David
“And now we’re on a Mayan god?” – Christy
“Please, Christy, that’s Quetzalcoatl. I’m talking about a quetzalcoatlus. You know… a winged serpent.”
“I see.” – Christy
“So there was this blonde chick, this pomegranate, and this quetzalcoatlus…”
::How do you spell it?” – Christy
“Everybody knows how to spell it.” – David
“Good. How?” – Christy
“Q-U-um… I think there’s an “E”…” – David
“Right, everybody knows how to spell it.” – Christy